So last Wednesday night, my husband was out skateboarding (I know, he’s 43) and I was putting the girlies to bed.
My six-year-old was in her room and was naked because she’d just got out of the bath. She was stood on a child sized wicker chair and was trying to pull her pyjamas out of the top drawer.
Suddenly and without warning, the chair flipped over. At the exact same time she jumped up doing a fame style, aerial splits move, and landed legs apart! SMACK BANG! Right on the side of the chair.
BASH! Straight in the peggy!
My reactions were quick. In a flash I dived towards her like a penalty shoot out goalie. Unfortunately I was not fast enough to catch her. I did however, in the process of lunging forward at such speed, pull a muscle in my thigh.
So there we both were, yowling in pain whilst clutching parts of our body… bit of a drama for a Wednesday evening if you ask me.
I instantly shoved my own pain to one side so I could focus on her. She was making a lot of noise and seemed to be hurt.
I quickly limped over.
‘Are you ok?’ I asked in a panic.
‘No. I’ve hit that thing that looks like a little tongue.’ She wailed.
Oh god. NO! Not your crown jewel babes. Ouch!
Now I don’t think I have ever been bashed on the clitoris before, but being the most sensitive part of the body, I’m imagining that’s gotta hurt. A lot.
‘That’s your clitoris.’ I said ‘It’s very sensitive. Let Mummy see.’
Reluctantly (sobbing and groaning all the while), she parted her legs.
It was all in tact. Thank goodness.
She said it stung and so I gave her a dose of Calpol and lots of cuddles. She calmed down and that was that.
A little later after story time as I stroked her hair and tucked the duvet round her lovely freckled, angelic face, she looked up at me with her beautiful, gleaming, green eyes…
‘Will you tell Daddy I got bashed in the clitoris when he gets home?’ She asked.
‘Erm… yes?’ I said.
‘And will you tell him that my clitoris really stung?’ She added.
‘Ok, maybe let’s stop talking about your clitoris.’ I said, silently terrified she was going to ask me what it was, or worse still what it was for.
I was in bed asleep when Dad got home and so I didn’t actually fill him in on ‘clitoris gate’. However, the very next morning just as he was tucking into his bowl of Shreddies, he heard a sentence I bet he never thought he would…
‘Daddy?’ said my sweet, darling little girl. ‘Did mummy tell you about me bashing my clitoris last night when you were out?’ Shreddies and milk sprayed out of his mouth and over the breakfast bar as a look of both shock and confusion crossed his face.
‘No.’ he said, looking at me for some sort of explanation.
At that point I went a bit weak. I couldn’t stop giggling. Hearing my six-year-old throwing the word clitoris around like she was talking about her elbow or something just suddenly seemed very hilarious.
As soon as I’d pulled myself together I explained what had happened.
‘Erm… maybe keep this to yourself today.’ I said afterwards, ‘I mean, don’t march up to your teacher and tell her you got bashed in the clitoris last night or anything. It’s a private place and so probably best to keep that to yourself.’
‘Ok’ she said.
Funny though isn’t it. I mean, every girl has one. Me, her sister, her teacher. Even the queen has a clitoris for god’s sake. And everyone’s clitoris is there for the same reason. To give us pleasure.
So, what do I say when she asks what it is and what it’s for? And why exactly am I dreading the question so much? Surely the clitoris shouldn’t be a shameful body part that must not be talked about.
Needless to say I Googled the shizzle out of the subject and consequently have decided to be totally mater of fact and up front when she askes me. I’ll say; ‘It’s a sexual organ a bit like daddy’s penis except it’s on the inside and it’s there to give us pleasure.’
Some people may find this uncomfortable, but even as a teacher, when I used to teach Sex Education I always strived to be open and frank and to dispel any mystery or embarrassment surrounding sex. In my opinion it’s healthier that way.
The very next day my six-year-old was in the garden playing and her scooter fell over and hit her (lightly) in the peggy area. She flung her arms in the air, rolled her eyes and chuckled.
‘Look at that guys.’ She called over, ‘I got hit in the clitoris again!’
So for now she actually does just think of it like it’s an elbow or a knee, and so for now I guess, we’ll just leave it at that.
However… when the question comes… I’ll be ready.
Thanks for reading and as always hit share if you think someone you know may enjoy this post too.
Feature Image is the first full-size anatomical model of a clitoris used in France in their sex education classes. Photo: company handout.
Here are some links to interesting articles covering early discussions about the clitoris as well as sex education for the young, if you fancy preparing for the questions too…