Papoosegate… mega lolz right?
This week Piers Morgan slammed Daniel Craig on Twitter for carrying his baby daughter in a papoose.
Naturally, the debate then made its way onto Good Morning Britain where Piers stood by his opinion, calling dads who wear papooses – ‘emasculated’. Hundreds of thousands of dads then took to social media, defending their masculinity and posting pictures of themselves looking manly, whilst proudly wearing their papooses!
And so, papoosegate was born…
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The internet tells me that Piers Morgan called Daniel Craig 'emasculated' for carrying his bairn in a 'papoose'. BLOW IT OUT YER BUNGHOLE Piers, I can think of fewer things more wang-verifyingly manly than strapping your spawn to your chest and telling the world that you too are a primary carer. Also, it keeps your hands free for pints. #lads #slingwhenyourewinning #handsfreehusbandry
But are papooses emasculating?
Of course not!
Let’s look at all the manly things you can do in a papoose:
- Take a piss whilst standing up, then forget to wash your hands.
- Change a car tyre whilst thinking of shagging your sister-in-law.
- Take a dump whilst iPhone-ing.
- Pick your nose and scratch your balls at the same time whilst bouncing the baby to sleep.
- Trekk up a mountain whilst eating a snickers.
- Have a bar brawl because someone just looked at your wife’s tits.
- After the bar brawl, wipe the blood and sweat from your face (using the muslin that is slung over your shoulder), then buy three pints of beer and carry them back to your mates – Dave and Jonesey.
- Put up a shelf and put your football trophies on it.
- Assemble a piece of flat pack Ikea furniture whilst taking breaks to watch YouTube vids of other men reviewing burgers.
- Shag your wife doggy style, then fall asleep on your back, snoring loudly.
So there you have it Mr Morgan, I’ll think you’ll find that all this stuff – which you can do whilst wearing a papoose – is pretty god damn masculine, and therefore your argument is severely flawed.
All the best you stupid, smug tosser!
P.s. I think you’ve got a tiny willy.
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Thanks for reading.