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Great Mum Shit Mum

A funny blog by a sometimes great, sometimes sh*t mum.

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A rant about my Amazon delivery…

So the day before yesterday my holiday books arrived from Amazon. I was in the top bedroom sorting clothes, when I saw the white van pull up. The deliveryman slumped out. He was kind of a young Jim Royle type. He lit up a fag and stomped over to the… Continue reading A rant about my Amazon delivery…

PUBLISHED ON Posted on 27th June 201827th June 2018in Categories blog

Nipples – In out, in out, shake `em all about!

Question: Can you breastfeed with inverted nipples? Answer: Yes GreatMum Sh*tMum (that’s me) stands at the side of the road, arm outstretched. Her thumb is pointing upwards. In the distance she sees a large vehicle. It’s slowing down. As it grinds to a halt beside her she reads the big,… Continue reading Nipples – In out, in out, shake `em all about!

PUBLISHED ON Posted on 20th June 201821st January 2019in Categories blog

Sexual Bereavement – Are you mourning your pre kid sex life?

Ok, so my husband’s going to kill me for writing this. However, it might make him get his finger out… or his willy? Fingers crossed. *** If you are a family member, please DO NOT read on. Mum, put the iPad down and go watch First Dates on catch up!… Continue reading Sexual Bereavement – Are you mourning your pre kid sex life?

PUBLISHED ON Posted on 13th June 201813th June 2018in Categories blog

How to turn your kid into a great sleeper?

Only kidding. I have no idea…. Anyone got any tips? PLEASE?! Before I end up buying a one-way ticket to Goa and taking loads of recreational drugs and pretending like I never had children. My youngest is four and she’s never been a great sleeper. When she was a tiny… Continue reading How to turn your kid into a great sleeper?

PUBLISHED ON Posted on 6th June 20186th June 2018in Categories blog

How can I stop my daughters being body conscious?

I’m really body conscious, but how can I stop my daughters being that way too? Let me take you back to last Friday. I was at a funeral and a great aunt of mine (let’s call her Aunty Fatist) had not one, not two but three digs at me about… Continue reading How can I stop my daughters being body conscious?

PUBLISHED ON Posted on 23rd May 201824th May 2018in Categories blog

Can being hung-over make you a better mum?

Question: Can being hung-over make you a better mum? Answer: Yes. Ok, so maybe I don’t take my kids swimming for fear of me, or them drowning. Maybe I smell like a damp, 90’s bar towel… but let’s just look at it from their point of view… ‘Can we have… Continue reading Can being hung-over make you a better mum?

PUBLISHED ON Posted on 16th May 201818th May 2018in Categories blog

Top 10 most annoying things other parents say…

When your baby still isn’t sleeping through… ‘Mine were both sleeping through from twelve weeks.’ Good for you. That doesn’t help me though does it? Dick head. ‘My child is on reading level 5. How about yours?’ I couldn’t give a holy sh*te what reading level your child is on.… Continue reading Top 10 most annoying things other parents say…

PUBLISHED ON Posted on 9th May 20189th May 2018in Categories blog

Are we over exposing our kids on social media?

Over exposing my children on the Internet is something I’ve been thinking about a lot since setting up my blog. Mainly because I created social media accounts (public not private) to promote it. It seems many other bloggers and Instagramers have been pondering this lately too. Reading Mother Pukka’s well… Continue reading Are we over exposing our kids on social media?

PUBLISHED ON Posted on 3rd May 20183rd May 2018in Categories blog

Great Pup Sh*t Pup? – The ups and downs of getting a new puppy

Finally, after years of pondering and months of research, we got a whippet puppy. Her name is Blue. It’s been less than a week and already I’m realising this puppy thing is great and sh*t in equal measures. Can you spot the running theme here? The Sh*t Bits… Poo and… Continue reading Great Pup Sh*t Pup? – The ups and downs of getting a new puppy

PUBLISHED ON Posted on 19th April 201819th April 2018in Categories blog

Greatmum Shitmum’s honest review of Centre Parcs Longleat

So, here it is my Centre Parcs Longleat review… Firstly, Bluestone vs Centre Parcs? We live in Cardiff and so in the past we’ve always been to Bluestone, because it’s close. However, last time we found it to be getting a little overcrowded. New cabins are shooting up very quickly… Continue reading Greatmum Shitmum’s honest review of Centre Parcs Longleat

PUBLISHED ON Posted on 16th April 201818th April 2018in Categories blog

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