Question: Can being hung-over make you a better mum?
Ok, so maybe I don’t take my kids swimming for fear of me, or them drowning. Maybe I smell like a damp, 90’s bar towel… but let’s just look at it from their point of view…
- ‘Can we have our breakfast in front of the TV?’ Yup. ‘Can we have squash instead of orange juice?’ Uh huh. ‘Can we have jam and Nuttella on our bagels?’ YES! Hung-over mum is a total push over.
- In fact, hung-over mum is pretty chilled in ever way, and yes my friends that is because hung-over mum prefers to be lying down.
- Hung-over mum does not nag. This is because she is so sleep deprived and weak, that she has just about enough energy to blink.
- Hung-over mum does not stress about getting out of the house by a certain time, to go on the ‘perfect family day out’. Happy days.
- Hung-over mum does not even insist on getting dressed, brushing hair or doing teeth until it is nearly lunchtime. BEST. DAY. EVER!
- Hung-over mum says ‘YES!’ of course you can have two hours of iPad in the morning followed by two, yes two films back to back in the afternoon.
- ‘Can we have crisps for lunch?’ ask the children. ‘Too right!’ Cries hung-over mum! Let’s all go down the local Co-op and buy tonnes of those 10p dirty, salty ones and scoff them like there’s no tomorrow. Better still let’s chuck in some filthy sausage rolls and some super sugary milkshakes too!!
- ‘But can you buy us a magazine?’ the children plead in Co-op. What those £5 ones with enough ‘free’ plastic tat to fill a million party bags, cellotaped to the front? Hmmmm? If it will keep you amused for the next hour… OF COURSE!! Grab two each!!
- Late afternoon, when hung-over mum starts coming to, she usually feels super guilty at having being so sh*te. She worries that she has wasted a whole Sunday. As a result she prepares the most banging roast dinner EVER…
- … And does three loads of washing…
- … And lets the kids have at least four bedtime stories, in her bed, then cuddles up to them, and they all fall asleep in a big bundle together.
Errrrm… how can this be bad?
We all need to let off steam now and again I say. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I find I just need a big blow out, in order to forget all my responsibilities and silly life stresses.
You know like in mindfulness, when you have to concentrate on sounds or on your breathing in order to give your brain a break from all those rushing thoughts? Well I just use booze for that. Who needs mindfulness when you have Malbec?
So why should we beat ourselves up about it? The kids bloody love me when I’m hung-over (for all the above reasons), and I do genuinely think, that sometimes it does make me a better mum.
It kind of makes me slow down. It makes me stop and smell the coffee (or the Berocca). We chill out, cuddle up, watch films, eat treats and just… be…
…Which every once in a while, is surely just fine! (f*cking amazing if you ever asked my kids)